Although I did not feel dark today, I feel this post should be accompanied with the soft piano, hard guitars and haunting voice of Evanescence.
Here is a small list for your listening:
Her new song, “What You Want” is very captivating.
As soon as I grabbed the apple I thought Snow White Queen.
I once sang this song. Although an embarrassing event occurred, I am proud of myself My Immortal.
I am at a turning point in my life. I have come to the realization that my opinions on many issues are starting to solidify. For quite some time I have worried that this may never happen, always to be reassured that through the years they will.
I recently decided on a major. This came with a lot of advice, even from strangers. It took me 5 years to finally decide, and now feel a relief I never expected. I didn’t tell people at first. It wasn’t until recently I started mentioning it, and only because I figured it would just be a matter of time. I chose Behavioral Science and eventually want to get a Ph.D (at least a Master’s) in Sociology.
Sociology is the study of groups of people/society. I find it fascinating. I did much research on the field before deciding. The type of jobs one can get, I even interviewed a professor. (Eventually I want to be a professor teaching the subject). I love that it makes me think ‘out of the box’ allows me to use the scholarly-oriented mind that I was given, and allows a vast amount of creativity, something that I need in a career.
I recently got advice from someone I had not seen in years. They told me that I shouldn’t worry about only getting a job, because getting a degree can mean so much more than that. I agreed completely. They also told me that I never seemed to fully accept that I was smart. I find it interesting to see how others view me. Since I would never expect such a comment. I have been working on my confidence over the years, and that comment somehow tipped the scale for me, and allowed me to gain the exact confidence I needed to move forward in what I want to do despite what I feel others expect me to do.
I guess what I am truly trying to say is: I was able to come to some terms of how I really view life in general. I also understand a lot more about love. I never expected to feel this way. I feel I can be more reserved, and yet I actually have opinions on things! This is a very new thing for me. I have defined more things I value, things that actually work with my mind and how I truly see life right now. I have also discovered more about where I stand politically. And it feels very liberating.
I feel I have made meaningful progress, even if it only means something to me and no one else in the world. I often feel very influenced by others. I feel this is occurring less often and it makes me feel comfort. Simply to know that the decisions I make, although not completely void of cultural pulls, are to some extent my own.
Just for fun: A few friends of all ages have suggested that I be a model, or question why I am not a model. To you I say, “Find me work and I’m down!”